Teaching Comics

With ISAT testing done, and another quarter still to do, it can get pretty gloomy as teacher. To get over the gloom, my principal sent me these Jeff Foxworthy jokes all about teaching or teachers. For anyone who has been a school teacher, has been thinking about being a school teacher, or worked in a school, you may understand these jokes or hope that you will never understand these jokes. Either way - ENJOY!!

Foxworthy on School Employees

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be
equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who
says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own
child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring
high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or
if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking
outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene
pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils
will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the
urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their
behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between
August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a
government permit before being allowed to reproduce.


YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people
refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to
check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate
the
U-HAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be
available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU
could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then
requiring
uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be
misunderstood by the
public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent
instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a
parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that
matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt
for this?' has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and
seconds are left in the school year!