Talk given by Bruce on Mothers' Day

Supporting Daughters of God

I am excited for the opportunity to speak on Mothers’ Day. It was just 6 years ago, the week before Mothers’ Day that I first took Brittney home to meet my family. The occasion was the baby blessing of my youngest brother, Seth. I invited Brittney to go with me and was delighted when she said “yes”. On the way down, I asked Brittney if it would be OK for me to put my arm around her while we were sitting by each other. Again to my delight, she said “yes”. She later told me how impressed she was that I respected her enough to ask. Really I was just scared she’d punch me if I didn’t.
Brittney was impressed with the way I interacted with my 12 younger brothers and sisters and especially with my mom. I got up in testimony meeting and said something about how much I love my mom. Brittney noticed throughout the day that I meant it and noticed how much I respected my mom. She later told me this is one of the things that helped her decide it might be OK to marry me. There is a lesson in this for you young men. After you serve your missions you may want to find a woman as beautiful, wonderful, and talented as Sister Richards…you are out of luck, because there is no woman as beautiful, wonderful, and talented as Sister Richards, but you might be able to find a nice girl if you respect your mothers.
Today I am going to speak about supporting the 3 most important daughters of God in my life: my unborn daughter, my wife, and my mother. I will rely on the Spirit to help you apply the principles I speak about to the women in your lives.

Daughter
I am not very experienced with supporting my own daughter. Before the last general conference I prayed to know what would be the most important thing to teach my daughter. I received three answers: teach her she is a daughter of God, teach her to pray, and teach her the importance of the temple.
The family proclamation says, “All human beings-male and female-are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life.” I remember my mother teaching me I was a child of God when I was young. When I woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream, she told me to sing “I am a Child of God”. Knowing that God was aware of me calmed my fears. I still use that strategy when I encounter fear today.
I love to hear children pray. Many times it seems they pray about “unimportant” long lists of things. However they are just having a conversation with God, telling Him what is on their minds. That is what we should do in our prayers, talk with God.
In the last general conference, President Monson encouraged us to hang a picture of the temple in the bedrooms of our children to point them towards the temple from the time they are young. I think it is also important for us to show our children by our example how important the temple is to us. In Illinois I have a good friend who was called to be a veil worker in the St. Louis temple. He is also working on getting his PhD in electrical engineering. Don’t tell him I said this, but it might be harder to get a PhD in electrical engineering than in animal science. You have to work hard and you have to be smart. My friend is also married with two daughters. However he fulfilled his obligation to serve in the temple every month. It was important to him that his wife have the opportunity to worship in the temple every month as well, so every month they would load their two little girls into the car and take them on that long journey with them. Can you imagine what effect that will have on their daughters? Already, their oldest daughter is anxious to go inside the temple. The last time we were there with them, Sister Richards was walking around the temple with her. When they got to the entrance of the temple, she was very upset that she couldn’t go inside. She already has a great desire to enter the House of the Lord.

Wife
Next I will talk about my wife. In the last general conference, Elder Cook said, “Women are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves them. Wives are equal to their husbands. Marriage requires a full partnership where wives and husbands work side by side to meet the needs of the family.”
I will address 3 things to do to support your wife: fulfill your priesthood responsibilities, listen to her, and encourage her to develop her talents.
Elder Scott said in the last general conference, “Brethren, do you lead out in family activities such as scripture study, family prayer, and family home evening, or does your wife fill in the gap your lack of attention leaves in the home? Do you tell your wife often how very much you love her? It will bring her great happiness.” Brethren, it is your priesthood responsibility to call the family together to study the scriptures, pray, and hold family home-evening. You need to do it.
There are two ways listening to your wife can be taken, and I mean both of them. One is “take correction” and the other is actually sitting and listening to her. Elder Christofferson spoke in the last general conference about taking correction. He told of how Elder Scott’s wife told him lovingly years ago that he needed to look people in the eyes. He would look at the ceiling, the floor, everywhere, but in people’s eyes. Elder Scott took that correction, and today you can feel the power of that characteristic of his whether you are listening to him speak in conference from Pennsylvania, Spain, or Illinois, I know. I have used this principle in my own life. A few months ago while we were doing a session in the temple, Brittney noticed that every time I sat down, she heard a loud “whooshing” sound. She told me afterward that I need to sit down more softly and quietly. At first I thought she was being overly critical, telling me how to sit down. Then a few days later as I plopped down on our bed and heard a loud clanging sound as our bed fell apart underneath me, I realized she might be right. I decided I better start sitting down more softly. Brittney demonstrated how, and practiced with me, and assures me that I am doing better now. While I may not ever be known the world over for sitting down softly, like Elder Scott is known for looking you in the eyes, at least we should save money on our furniture bill.
The other meaning of listening is to sit down and listen to your wife. I don’t know if you have noticed, but men and women are different. I hope that is not new doctrine to any of you. Men bond by doing stuff together. They like to play basketball, move someone, or just beat each other up. That is how they bond. Women bond by talking. It may be against a man’s nature to sit and listen to his wife talk to him, but it is important. When she talks to you, she is telling you she loves you, she wants to be close to you, she is giving you a gift, accept the gift. Take the time to sit and listen to your wife.
Encourage your wife to develop her talents. A couple years ago President Uchtdorf spoke to the relief society about developing their talents. He started off by talking about the difference between his cooking and his wife’s. She will make beautiful, delicious meals, and always find something wrong with it. Meanwhile he will make runny eggs and burnt toast and feel like a champion. He says “To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities – they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.” It is our job brethren to help our wives feel good about themselves. President Uchtdorf then suggests two antidotes: creating and being compassionate. He encourages the sisters to develop their talents. I have seen this work in my own marriage. A year and a half ago, Brittney was working on her personal progress as a young women leader. She told me she wanted to take voice lessons. I first I wondered, why? She already had so many talents. But I agreed to let her. I had learned to give her room to fly. It amazed me how much easier my job of making her feel good about herself became while she was taking voice lessons. Her confidence increased, not just in her ability to sing, but her confidence in herself.

Mother
Because of time, I will speak briefly about mothers. I think the word “mother” is next to the word “God”. I don’t think I’m too far off because years ago when we were studying the teachings of Heber J. Grant he said, “Reverence is profound respect mingled with love.” I have great love and respect for my mother. We all need to thank and love our mothers.
Jesus set the example for caring for our mothers. In John 19:25-27 we read: “Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother…When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour the disciple took her unto his own home.” In Jesus’ darkest hour, He was concerned about his mother and taking care of her.
Sisters are incredible because they are like Christ. President Uchtdorf said, “You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a king, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. His thoughts were always turned to help others. He taught and lived by this doctrine: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.””
I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and perfect example. I know that the women in our lives are daughters of God. We need to love and respect our wives and mothers, and we need to teach our daughters that they are daughters of God, because they are, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.